I am often asked by parents when it comes to kids birthday party ideas – how long should a kids party be? My recommendation is to keep your child’s birthday party tightly scheduled. Two hours for a kids party works out very well and provides many advantages.

If you’ll be having kids party entertainment, schedule the magician or children’s entertainer for either the first or second hour of the party. Consider spending the other hour providing cake and ice cream followed by the opening of presents. Perhaps add a game if time allows.

Especially when you plan to have kids entertainment at your child’s party, such as a magic show, what more do you need to do for a memorable party? I would suggest that’s plenty of activity.

The well-planned birthday party will ensure your child has a memorable time without becoming too over-stimulated. Plus, your party guests will have an unforgettable time as well.

And, if you’ll be having your kids party in your home, keeping it structured ensures you keep the kids exactly where you want them and doing what you want them to do the entire time. What mom or dad doesn’t want such piece of mind?

RI Magician Kids Party Ventriloquist Steve Zany - Nickelodeon Parents Pick Award Winner!

Kids Birthday Party Practices – 10 Reasons for Sending Thank You Notes

So, you’re planning a kids birthday party or just hosted one? What’s the proper etiquette or protocol for handling thank yous after your child’s big celebration? Are such thoughtful expressions a lost art? Has technology and instant communications made it more difficult to write an old fashioned thank you note? Is saying thank you to the gift giver at the kids party enough?

Whatever the case, it seems to me times have changed. My kids are at that age of attending their friends’ birthday parties and I am surprised how few thank you notes they receive. Unfortunately, expressions of gratitude are becoming less commonplace nowadays. Of course, it can be for a variety of reasons. Some kids and parents are often busier today than ever before and it’s probably not right to think someone is being rude if they don’t send out a thank you note.

This topic was recently discussed online and mom Diane Tellone-Walker says she made it a point to send out thank yous to each guest that came to her 5-year olds party. She finds that a kids birthday party is a teachable moment for children.

While some parents don’t have the patience to sit down with their child to write out thank you notes, “Teaching our kids to be grateful is soooooooo important,” Diane says. “Especially these days!”

Mom Caroline Chapman couldn’t agree more. “Every event/gathering is a wonderful time to practice manners!” she says. And as another mom put it “Part of having good manners is letting other people’s bad manners slide.”

Adding to that sentiment, another parent suggested “the main PURPOSE of children’s birthday parties is teaching them how to graciously give and receive gifts!”

On the Berkeley Parents Network, this issue also has been heavily discussed.

Here’s some of the best insights I came across and wanted to share with you as perhaps food for thought:

1. Avoid using “fill-in-the-blank” thank you cards. It can be perceived as impersonal, regardless of the thank you gesture.

2. If your child can’t yet write, have him or her dictate thank you notes for every present received. Then have your child at least sign their name, if they can, or draw a picture if they are younger. Kindergarten children are at a great age to be taught the importance of saying thank you. ”Writing” a note with the assistance of their parents (and signing their own name if they can) is a great activity for teaching this valuable lesson.

3. While it may be tempting, do not lower your standards of what is basic common courtesy just because other families have never sent your child a thank you note. Basic manners are not old-fashioned, but certainly will be old news if more and more people give up.

4. Having your child write thank you cards can be a fun project.

5. Remind your children, if someone took the time (and money!) to go to a store, select a gift, wrap it and give it to them, the least they can do is take 3-4 minutes to write a thank you note.

6. Let your child’s good habits and courtesy be an example for their friends to write thank you notes when their birthday parties arrive.

7. Insist your child send out thank you notes before they can play with their new toys or use their new gifts. It can be a good incentive and make your child pause and really think about why they have these new gifts.

8. Make sure you teach your kids that thank you notes are necessary. Many people are touched by thank you notes and it’s a small gesture that makes the world a better place.

9. Writing thank you notes provides an opportunity to teach your child that it is often good and right to spend time and effort on giving to other people, without an expectation of receiving anything in return, even thanks.

10. Finally, consider opening the gifts after the party and have your child write a thank you note immediately after opening each gift. This approach can keep your child incredibly motivated to write thank yous. Plus it can help slow down the paper tearing frenzy, get your child to pause, actually notice the gifts and remember who it’s from.

Have additional ideas? I’d love to hear your comments.

Warm wishes,

Steve Zany, RI Magician Ventriloquist

RI Magician Kids Party Ventriloquist Steve Zany - Nickelodeon Parents Pick Award Winner!

How long should my kids birthday party be? This is a frequently asked question that I receive. My best advice is to make sure you feel your kid’s birthday party is manageable in two ways:

1. Limit the number of children. While it may feel necessary to invite your child’s whole class, this can be a recipe you may regret. There’s various rules of thumb. Some children’s party planners suggest inviting the same number of children to the birthday party as your child’s age. I would extend this suggestion and say that psychologically your child can handle a group of children up to twice their age without them becoming overwhelmed.
2. So how long should the party be? One hour is more than enough time for a toddler birthday party. Two hours for a pre-school-age birthday party. For older children two to three hours maximum is fine, based on my experience during the past two decades.

Wishing you all the best with your kids party planning!

RI Magician Kids Party Ventriloquist Steve Zany - Nickelodeon Parents Pick Award Winner!

As a kids party magician in Rhode Island for nearly 25 years, parents often ask me for a successful kids birthday party formula to make their child’s party the best ever. Well today I performed at two birthday parties. One parent took my advice. The other did not.

At each kids party both birthday children were five year olds. I gave both moms who hired me the same advice at the time they scheduled my magic show: Take their child’s age, multiply it by two and that would provide them with the ideal number of children their child could appreciate without their child and other kids becoming overwhelmed (at least based on my experience). Well here’s what happened…

There were about 10 kids at the first kids party. By all accounts, it was a smashing success right from the start. The birthday child really seemed to enjoy her time with her friends and mom and dad had the party well handled, relaxed and was able to enjoy the show with other parents.

At kids party #2, I walked in the door to somewhat of a chaotic event. The mom was faced with managing at least 20 children plus trying to host at least 20 adults. I felt for the birthday child, and her parents. The birthday child was clearly overwhelmed at her party, not to mention her parents who seemed exhausted.

As hard as it may be to do, I suggest parents try to avoid the urge to invite their child’s entire school class. Many parents find that their child and other children are often better behaved at the birthday party when the above formula is used. Plus, their house and sanity remain intact.

While my shows are magical, the formula isn’t. It’s grounded in child psychology. Try it and you may see your child has more vivid memories of their next party than ever before.

webbhotell





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RI Magician Kids Party Ventriloquist Steve Zany - Nickelodeon Parents Pick Award Winner!

The latest insights from RI kids party magician ventriloquist Steve Zany:

Enough is enough say some parents when it comes to making their kids birthday party overly elaborate or hosting it at a commercial venue.

Ironically, I fell victim to the trap last weekend. At my wife’s insistence we held our son’s party last weekend outside the home at the local YMCA. Of course, being a kids party magician, I would have loved to have had a magic show themed party for my boy at home.

Since my son loves sports, we had the party at the local YMCA and went with their “super sports” party package. To my astonishment, the party coordinators that day were two teenagers who admitted to me this was the first super sports party they had ever done. I asked one of the teens what their experience was working with a dozen 7 year olds and she told me that she could handle it because she was good at sports. It was a good thing I knew a thing or two about entertaining kids, because the party coordinators weren’t too coordinated and I had to entertain the kids at one point.

Unfortunately, party places are all too happy to accept parents’ money without providing them with an experienced kids party professional often times. We’ve all seen it, yet parents keep on coming back to these venues for more despite many feeling it’s not always worth the price.

“I have been to parties at bowling alleys, Chuck E Cheese and Bouncetown, says Kate Carey-Trull, a mother of two. “Parents often say it is easier to have it somewhere else, and not have to worry about cleaning house or doing dishes afterwards. However, I am never quite sure what family members would make of a party at a place with five bounce houses or video games.”

It doesn’t get easier for parents who try to go it alone without professional help, like a kids party entertainer who can occupy the children’s sometimes for up to the entire length of your entire party.

In a recent U.S. News and World Report article, mom Julie Printz explained how she spent a fortune on her child’s birthday party planning everything herself — from gift bags, to crafts to games to accessorizing the decorations. She didn’t enjoy her efforts at all, she says.

Jamie Martin, author of the book Steady Days – A Journey Toward Intentional Professional Motherhood, says “We aim for simple parties around here, too – but I’m always surprised at how even ‘simple’ can become a bit complicated.”

So why do parents feel the need to have impersonal kids parties at commercialized kids party places or try to tackle the intricacies of making an at home party successful?

Marguerite Kelly, co-author of The Mother’s Almanac, a classic parenting book, may offer the simplest of explanations: “Parents feel more pressure with just about everything they do than they used to,” she says. That reflects a broader shift in parenting culture, she adds

The editors at Readers Digest advise parents to avoid the mentality of “Let’s outdo the Joneses. Competition should be left to professional sports teams and to Wall Street. It has no place at a birthday party, unless, of course, you’re hosting a backyard Olympics.”

(Or a super sports party, I might add.)

One thing’s for sure. I’ve learned my lesson. Sometimes we as parents don’t follow our instincts. Next time I will practice what I preach.

RI Magician Kids Party Ventriloquist Steve Zany - Nickelodeon Parents Pick Award Winner!

During the course of 25 years, as you might imagine, I’ve been to a lot of kids birthday parties. Often times moms and dads will ask me how I deal with inappropriate behavior.

“By the kids or adults?” I jest, with a touch of seriousness to my reply.

While often, when you imagine a kids party, you might think about the actions of the kids, sometimes, believe it or not, it’s the parents who aren’t on their best behavior.

Parents who are loud talkers – When performing a magic show, every once in a while, I’ll find a few parents who start chatting up a storm during the show. Surprisingly, it can get to the point that the kids, including the birthday child, start having trouble hearing my magic show banter or even the birthday child’s mom giving instructions to the children about a game or activity.

Sometimes, during a magic show, I get this dumbfounded look from the birthday child’s mom in the back of the living room who is shocked that the adults’ conversations are so loud they become a distraction for the birthday child and their friends. A number of times, I’ve seen the birthday’ child’s mom ask their adult friends to quiet down or continue their conversations in another room, so their child could hear.

Such behavior isn’t an isolated incident. It’s not that parents are intentionally being inconsiderate, they just might not be aware of their actions, or inactions, for whatever reason.

See if you can relate to these situations:

Parents who don’t RSVP – Have you ever sent out an invitation for your kids party and never received a reply? I have lost count of how many parents I’ve spoken with who tell me, days before the party that “I still don’t know how many kids there’ll be at my kids party. Not all of the parents have RSVP’d. I’m expecting 12 kids but there could be 24 if everyone shows.” When a mom hasn’t heard from 50 percent of the parents of invited guests, that’s shocking. But it seems to be more of the norm unfortunately.

“The poor birthday parents, I feel so bad for them,” says Jeanne Rosenberg, a professional birthday party coordinator. “If you can’t come, just call them to let them know.”

Parents who look at kids birthday parties as a babysitting service – Whether it’s the party child’s parents, the party staff or the party entertainment, they are there to entertain the kids or keep the children busy having fun in an organized manner.  So it’s best for parents to keep an eye on their child at the party. That way a guest’s misbehavior or inappropriate actions can be dealt with appropriately by their parent. That also prevents any unwanted situations from becoming a distraction for other party guests.

Parents who bring an uninvited sibling – Best to leave sister or brother at home if they weren’t invited, say many kids party planning professionals. At some party places, party parents are charged for every child who shows. If the party parents are on a budget, this can put them in an awkward financial position. Or, the party child’s parents may not have enough cake, ice cream or pizza for everyone who wasn’t on the list.

Parents who show up to birthday parties late – Whether a parent is hiring kids party entertainment to perform at their child’s party or hosting the party at a ‘big box’ party place, the birthday child’s parents are spending money which contributes to the enjoyment of the party guests too.

Unfortunately, party places and party entertainers like magicians and clowns, all work on a schedule and do numerous birthday parties back-to-back on weekends. Therefore, the party or performance time usually can’t be delayed or extended for guests who have yet to arrive.

Not only is arriving late to a kids birthday party likely disruptive but, says Brenda Holloway, a spokesperson for a major national kids party chain, the party parent is paying for the invited kids, so parents of invited guests should be considerate.

But misbehavior by kids and adults is a too way street and the parents of the birthday child should consider being mindful of their guests too.

When it comes to arriving on time for a birthday party, the same might be said for the birthday child. The best of all situations is for the parents to have their guest of honor arrive early. It’s more considerate to avoid making guests wait for the birthday child to make an entrance.

In the end, perhaps the golden rule is the best guideline to follow when it comes to parents’ party behavior: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Steve Zany – RI Kids Magician Ventriloquist

RI Magician Kids Party Ventriloquist Steve Zany - Nickelodeon Parents Pick Award Winner!

So you’re thinking of having a birthday party for your child. What would you do if your kid’s current circle of friends exceeded 30 children? Would you invite them all? In all likelihood, no.

You’d have to start excluding because perhaps your house isn’t big enough, or you don’t want that many kids taking over your home or maybe having that many children at your kids birthday party wouldn’t be economical.

Of course, other parents sometimes have to make the same types of decisions.

I talk with moms all the time at kids parties who tell me they had to keep their birthday party numbers down and couldn’t invite everyone their child wanted to.

The tough thing is sometimes that means your child is the one who gets excluded from their friend’s birthday party list.

It can be an awful feeling and has happened to all of us parents at one time or another when we were kids.

In a previous post, I advocated for keeping the numbers of guests down to ensure your child enjoys their party as much as possible and to keep things manageable. I stand by those recommendations.

Nevertheless, the issue of being excluded from a kids party may is one that parents must deal with from time to time.

A recent report by CNN advises that if your child is excluded from a party for kids and brings up the matter to you, acknowledge their remarks, but avoid dwelling on it too much.

Ashley Merryman the co-author of “NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children” says it’s best to send a message to your child that communicates the importance of brushing the dirt off their knees and moving on. There is other fun stuff to do. While, it would have been nice to be invited to the birthday party, someone else will have a kids party in the near future, in all likelihood.

Many moms believe that the affects of being excluded from a kids birthday party pass quickly anyway.

“Kids’ relationships change from week to week. They’re kids!” says mom Rani Morrison.

And mom Kerry Quirin adds “Friendships at such a young age are constantly evolving. Therefore, if my child wasn’t invited to a party, I would take the opportunity to teach my child how to roll with the punches. It will feel bad, but in the big scheme of things, will it really throw my child’s life off course? No.”

Being excluded from a kids birthday party (or even excluding a friend from one) has a silver lining — the teachable moment.

If you’re the one who had to do the excluding “You can talk to you child about not talking about his or her birthday party at school when they can’t invite the whole class.” That helps to prevent others from feeling hurt says Jen Klein, a mother of three kids.

And, if your child was the one excluded from another kid’s party, while the experience might be temporarily painful for your child, it’s an opportunity to help him or her learn the value of being gracious when they’re not included and the importance of being inclusive whenever possible.

Above all, support your child and their feelings. When it comes to a kid’s tender emotions sometimes it’s best to just listen and be a sponge.

RI Magician Kids Party Ventriloquist Steve Zany - Nickelodeon Parents Pick Award Winner!

I’m glad many of you found my last post about kids birthday party photography of interest and helpful.

So, let’s continue our discussion about other ways you can capture those great photos at your child’s birthday party, because those enchanting photo opportunities often can pass you by in an instant.

The following tip may seem like common sense, but often it isn’t common practice.

At your kids birthday party take lots and lots of pictures. I’m talking a ton. More than you think you’ll need. Here’s why. Digital is cheap. You can simply delete the photos you don’t want and keep the best.

At one of my children’s birthday parties, I took about 100 photos in two hours. Guess how many I saved? About 15 of them. But those 15 were gems.

In fact, many people ask me how I get such great photos of my children. The secret is that I throw away 80-90% of the weak ones.

By taking tons of photos, the odds are in my favor. It’s very much like the pareto principle, also known as the 80-20 rule. I keep the best 20 percent, or so, of my kids party photos and toss the remaining 80 percent.

At many birthday parties I perform magic shows at, given my interest in photography, I observe what other parents are doing with their cameras.

For example, I might see a parent shoot five photos during the big show finale featuring their child. My guess is, that by taking so few photos, many parents end up with photos that don’t really capture the magic moments their child is experiencing of becoming a magician in my show.

What are the chances that at the time the parent snapped the photo, their child’s eyes were closed because they blinked? Given the past-paced nature of the show how likely is it the birthday kid turned away from the camera at the very moment mom or dad pressed the trigger? What’s the likelihood that the birthday child had a goofy look on their face in the photo. (No fault of the child, it’s just the capturing of a sliver of time. You know what type of photos I’m talking about because all of us parents have taken them or have appeared in them.)

Often after my magic show, the kids party quickly turns to the lighting of the birthday cake. Just today, I observed the parents take pnly three photos of their child’s experience. The photos were taken before the cake arrived at the table. During the inhale of the kids’ breath  to blow out the candles and then after the candles were blown out.

What if the mom took six photos instead of three, or 12 for that matter of the cake festivities? She would have really upped her chances of capturing a photo or multiple photos that were very different than the type of birthday party photos she may have in her photo albums currently. I’m not saying it’s impossible to get a good photo by taking only three images of your child blowing out their candles. But I’m not one to gamble.

When parents armed with a camera are more willing to push the shutter button, more often they up their chances dramatically of taking  great birthday party images.

Like a good magic trick, once you learn the above secret, you’ll be amazed by what magically happens to the quality of your kids photos.

Steve Zany
RI Kids Party Magician and Ventriloquist

RI Magician Kids Party Ventriloquist Steve Zany - Nickelodeon Parents Pick Award Winner!

So your child’s birthday party has finally arrived and everything is going according to plan. What’s left to do?

As a kids magician in RI, it might come as no surprise to you that I would recommend something magical. But it may not be what you think. I suggest being sure to capture the “magic” moments at your party.

Below, I am going to share with you a simple secret I use when I take photos at my own kids’ birthday parties (i.e., my son’s and daughter’s).

This is probably a good time to add a disclaimer: I am a kids magician for hire. I am not a professional children’s photographer for hire although photography is a passion of mine.

I believe you can easily apply these simple kids party photography tips and you’ll be thrilled with the results. I might even go so far as to say it will transform the quality of your party photos like magic.

Perhaps the single most important tip of them all when photographing the birthday child is this:

My daughter enjoying her first birthday. Photo taken up close so you can

Keep it Close – When taking kids party photos,  what mom or dad doesn’t want a photo of their child enjoying their party? The problem is that most moms and dads don’t get in close enough to their child when photographing their birthday party.

The result is that parents’ photos of their kids include lots of things at the birthday party that, in a photo, are visually distracting (like people standing around talking or putting food in their mouths, or even people not paying attention to the fact that your child is about to blow out the candles on their birthday cake).

Naturally, the focus of attention is on your child at their party, but often times many kids birthday party photos don’t have a visual focus. As such, kids party photos include too many other things in the image.

Often times the reason is that many parents stand too far away from the star of the day — their birthday child.

The workaround is simple. Stand closer with your camera to your birthday child. How close? So your child fills the frame on the camera. That’s because the most important thing to capture, most of the time, is your child’s face. And, when you get in close, you’ll find you have a great photo that tells a story by capturing their facial expressions. Plus, people are naturally drawn to kids faces in a well-taken photo.

Often times, the closer you get the better. I mean super-close. See what reaction you get when showing people a photo where your kid’s face fills the entire frame. And here’s an advanced tip, although not something that’s hard to achieve. Just something to keep in mind. If you position your child’s eyes about one-third  from the top of the frame, your photos will take on a whole new level of visual interest. (That tip makes use of a well-known photography principle known as the rule of thirds).

Of course, it’s also important to decide what’s important for you to include in your kids photos and what should be left out of the image.

For example, when your child is about to blow out the candles on their birthday cake, if having all the other kids looking on is important for you to capture, then include them. If what’s most important is capturing your child’s facial expression as everyone sings “Happy Birthday” to him/her then exclude the other kids from the shot.

One other way to think about how to get that great kids birthday party photo is to remember this: Avoid leaving too much space between your child and the edges of the frame.

Ultimately, it comes down to being consciously aware of what you hope to capture in the photo before you snap the image.

Keeping it close is what many pro photographers do.

Steve Zany
RI Kids Party Magician and Ventriloquist

RI Magician Kids Party Ventriloquist Steve Zany - Nickelodeon Parents Pick Award Winner!

So you are planning a kids birthday party. You don’t need to be a magician like me to make it magical, (although I can certainly help in that department). All you need to do is take into account some basic child psychology and consider where the kids are in their stage of development. Then you can take advantage of those factors to make your child’s birthday party a wonderful time for all.

Below, is the conclusion of a three-part series that looks at planning a kids party by the ages. In the first post, we looked at parties for kids age 1 though age 4. In my last post, we looked at the next stage: parties for kids age 5 through age 8. To wrap things up, let’s look at planning kids parties for children age 9 though age 11.

And there you have it. I hope you have found the above insights interesting and informative.

As with any guidelines, they are just that…guidelines. Your experience or mileage may vary. However, by considering some of the ideas above in your kids party planning you’ll be well on your way to leveraging child psychology and development in a way that will help you make your child’s next birthday party extra special and one to remember.

Magically yours,

Steve Zany, RI Magician Ventriloquist

RI Magician Kids Party Ventriloquist Steve Zany - Nickelodeon Parents Pick Award Winner!